The financial markets were rocked this morning with the report that natural gas production was at a stand still at the
This morning Betsy walked me through the process of helping her shower and just as we were about to employ what I learned, two of Betsy’s sisters, Teenie and Fluffy walked in. In no time at all Betsy was scrubbed and buffed. I’ll never take taking a shower for granted again.
We’re still waiting for the lab report on the tissue samples. Hopefully they were come in soon so that the chemotherapy can commerce. X-rays taken of Betsy’s abdomen and chest yesterday were both unremarkable, which is a good thing.
I was recently asked about what Betsy’s day is like. In a word it’s BORING. It begins fairly early, around 5:00 AM when someone comes around to take her vitals (pulse, temperature, oxygen count) and some blood. Sometime after that the night nurse comes by to close out her shift the day nurse takes over. Anyway between 6:30 and 7:00 her doctors, who include a fellow and resident under the tutelage of Dr. Boice come around to check up on her. That’s pretty much the routine. Then it repeats itself a couple of times over the day.
I’ve looked high and low for a prayer for flatulence and found none. If anyone out there is inclined to pen one, please do. Post your entry as a comment and we’ll let everyone weigh in on a winner.
That’s it for now. Keep the prayers and comments coming.
9 comments:
Since the topic seems to be breaking wind, I searched for a prayer but instead found this poem:
A Little Gush of Wind
(submitted by Sicko Nicko)
A little gush of wind
Straight from the heart;
It tickled down my backbone
And it's also called a fart.
A fart can be useful;
It gives the body ease,
It warms the bed in winter
And suffocates the fleas.
Aunt Betsy have you asked anyone to "pull your finger"? That usually works.
Thinking of you, Jenn
Hi Betsy!
Well not to be outdone we have found a poem about flatulence...British of course...
THE FLATULENCE TAX
by John O'Neill
the flatulence tax
A flatulence tax on cattle and sheep,
Another rip-off to make us all weep.
Preserving the ozone at any expense,
It's all propaganda that doesn't make sense.
Abandon the flock and abolish the herd,
When it comes to survival, then nothing's absurd.
But what will we eat for daily protein?
The answer is simple, the mighty baked bean.
So plough in the forage and pastures too
Put paid to the curse of the cattle pooh.
Then plant all the land with navy beans,
Belching out gasses from smoky machines.
The resulting erosion will wipe any smiles,
Make the Greenies appear they're suffering piles.
With options so few when it comes to a meal,
And the after affects still part of the deal.
With the whole population gobbling baked beans,
The potential was there for some horrid scenes.
The worst of our fears were about to come true,
The Follies were gobbling their baked beans too.
And adding more fuel to their natural reserve,
The electorate was poised to get its deserve.
Their innards vibrated their faces contorted,
The speaker collapsed and debate was aborted.
Then rising as one from babes to old Granny,
With timing so perfect was almost uncanny.
The whole population let off a great fart,
With a bloody big bang blew the ozone apart.
Or should we give you the Navy farewell salute..."Fair winds and following seas" ????
And with uncanny timing one of my horse friends in Florida sent me this joke...
A guy goes into a gas station and asks the clerk for $5 worth of gas.
Without missing a beat the clerk promptly farts and hands the customer a receipt.
Meghan went off to prison this aafternoon...I hear so did Inez Sue and Deb...I was hoping for some appropriate photo footage....
Hope you are feeling better and better...bet that tea tastes great!!
:) Hugs - Mari
Okay, so I googled poems about passing gas. I was sitting here by myself and I was still embarrassed to be doing it. But anyway I couldn't find much so I wrote my own acrostic poem/prayer.
Almighty God
Until
Now
There's nothing she's wanted this
Badly
Easier said
Than done
She really wants to pass some gas
Yuck!
If this doesn't work, I'll ask my brothers for some help because they can fart on command.
Also, you mentioned you were drinking tea. Is it the ginger tea? Made with warm gingerale and a tea bag? That helped after my c-section.
Good luck!
Love,
Amy XXXXXOOOOO
Betsy,
You are really missed at work. I've been following your gas dilemma and have searched sites too for a good prayer/poem.
Found this to make you smile:
There was a young fellow from Sparta,
A really magnificent farter,
On the strength of one bean,
He'd fart God Save the Queen,
And Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata.
Still searching for a better one.
Take care and more farting poems/prayers coming your way -
Deb C.
Betsy:
I just returned from Savannah today and Ed Kesselman told me of your medical situation and the Blog. So here I am, on behalf of the Conway's, wishing you and your family well - and we will keep you in our prayers daily.
Regarding the Gas Shortage... The entire country of Ireland produces gas via the intake of Guiness. And I know from personal experience, that Guiness works wonders for that problem. If you can find an Irish doctor, I'm sure he'll confirm this as a great solution. In any case, just let me know and I'll show up with a case of Guinnes and we can all get "Gassed". All our best, Jim and Sharon
Please! Please!
Proper women like Betsy do not fart.
They either "perfume" or "mist."
You may now commence, Betsy!
Get going, gal!
Colorado Jo
My husband and I are OLD friends from high school and college days--plus we share something in common today--Disney. Now to your blogs, TR...Don't you know how hard it is on a person full of gas to laugh! What are you trying to do to Betsy. Betsy, I am praying like the rest, but I think the Lord is laughing too hard at the prayers to help. Hopefully after a good night sleep, He is ready to assist. You are a fighter and I know you will be up and around in no time. Let us know if you need anything--I can get Kristy there in the blink of an eye since she is so close.
Debbie and Greg
Aunt Betsy,
Jay says this is your way of protesting the high price of gas.
Did you try the ginger tea?
Thinking of you always
Love, Amy
It's Sunday May 25th and today that front row at CHA looked awfully empty.
Keeping you in prayer,
Diane
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