At the crossroad

Dear friends,
It's been quite a year.

Before this one fades into the next, Andrew, Kevin and I want to again thanks everyone for their kindness, love, prayers and support. The past couple of weeks have not been easy ones, but they have been manageable due in part to the support that you have provided. I'm not going to name names,but do especially want to call out in a general waythe huge support from my Intelink and Church of the Holy Apostles "families".

As I write this I'm smack in the middle of one of the worst colds I've had in years. Really. None of us came down with so much as the sniffles during Betsy's struggle and now my body is making up for the lost time. On the up side, I'm sleeping better than I have in a long time.

It's all kind of bittersweet. But we're moving forward. Andrew and I are taking more and more about him buying a home in this area, hopefully in the next couple of months. Kevin is on track to finish up at the community college in May. Where he'll be after that is up in the air.

As for me, I'm at the crossroad, pondering what I'll do in the next phase of my life. I've had a great professional career; being and FBI Agent for 25 years was my dream job. I had a great marriage--Betsy was a most wonderful spouse, friend and partner, for 25 years. What's in store for the next 25 years? I'm sure Betsy will help me figure that out.

Happy New Year!!!

My First Christmas in Heaven

This poem was written by a 13 year old boy named Ben who died of a brain tumor that he had battled for four years. He died on December 14, 1997. He gave this to his mom before he died. Sharon, one of the parishioners at the Church of the Holy Apostles passed it to me this past Sunday and I have read it countless times since then.

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below
With tiny lights, like Heaven's stars, reflecting on the snow

The sight is so spectacular,please wipe away the tear
For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear
But the sounds of music can't compare with the Christmas choir up here.

I have no words to tell you,the joy their voices bring,
For it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart.
But I am not so far away, We really aren't apart.

So be happy for me, dear ones,You know I hold you dear.
And be glad I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I sent you each a special gift,from my heavenly home above.
I sent you each a memory of my undying love.

After all, love is a gift more precious than pure gold.
was always most important the stories Jesus told.

Please love and keep each other,my Father said to do.
I can't count the blessing or love has for each of you.

So have a Merry Christmas and Wipe away that tear
Remember, I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

Life Celebration UPDATE

Apparently Betsy exercised some pull. Last night I learned that our Parish, The Church of the Holy Apostle's despite not having our own permanent worship space came up with a way to have Betsy's Mass there. The School of the Incarnation, where we regularly hold Mass, will be closed by then for Christmas.

This is truly a blessing for us all.

Mass will still be on Wednesday at 10:00 but it will be held at the Church of the Holy Apostles, 2601 Symphony Lane, Gambrills, MD 21054 http://www.holyapostlesmd.org/

Please spread the word.

TR

Life Celebration

Hello all,
It's taken a little bit of effort to put all of the moving pieces together for Betsy's life celebration. Now that I've got all the details I can pass them on.

Betsy will be waked at the Beall Funeral Home in Bowie, MD on Monday December 20th and Tuesday December 21st each day from 2:00 Pm to 4:00 PM and 7:00 PM to9:00 PM. Please visit the Beall site for directions and area accommodations.

On Wednesday December 22nd at 10:00 AM we will celebrate Mass for Betsy at St. Bernadette, 801 Stevenson Road, Hanover, MD.

Andrew, Kevin and I truly hope all of our and Betsy's friends, coworkers and associates can stop by to visit wit us.

TR

Light in the darkness

My dear friends,

Betsy passed away last light around 9:20 PM. As many of you had already surmised from the previous posting it was apparent that Betsy's body was wasn't able to keep up the fight. I can tell you her spirit never wavered.

I got her to Mercy Hospital yesterday morning. Her blood work showed that her kidney's had failed and her system was shutting down and it was just a matter time.

We gathered with Betsy, letting her know that it was ok to go. We cried, we prayed, we laughed.

There were times when Besty smiled the most beautiful sweet smile any of us had ever seen. I will always keep that smile in my heart.

The Mercy staff cared for Betsy and all of us in the most compassionate way and her transition from this life to the next was a very comfortable one for us all.

By the time I got home last night our outdoor Christmas lights had turned off. I turned them back on to honor my Betsy, my light in the darkness .

TR

NUTS!

I've kind of lost track of when Betsy came home from the hosiptal...I think it was Tuesday of last week. Yeah, that sounds about right, seven bags of TPN ago.

The disease continues its aggression and we are resolutely fighting to keep the symptoms at bay. Our arsenal of prayers and hope hasn't diminished and those have been fortified by mega doses of pain meds and other palliative products.

We are trying to make Betsy as comfortable as possible but have reached the point where its time to call for re-enforcements, starting with home care, then bringing in other cohorts as needed.

Like General Tony McAuliffe back in December, 1944-- Besty, says that she isn't surrendering.

Caesar's that we all hate

No doubt many of you have heard of Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus , commonly known as Caligua. By a show of hands how many of you have ever heard of Caligua's, vile, rotten, despicable distant cousin Fistula.

I never heard of Fistula until earlier this week when Besty was admitted to Mercy Hospital with one.

A fistula is simply a hole between an internal organ and the outside world that should not exist. In a previous surgery Bestsy's plumbing was altered. Apparently her cancer didn't much care for that and has punched a hole in her intestine. I'll spare the details, suffice it to say the current situation is far from optimal. While surgery is the usual course of action in these cases, that's not advisable for Betsy.

To mitigate the effects of this fistula, for the foreseeable future, Betsy will not be getting nutrition through solid food, instead she will be through a daily chemical concoction called total parenteral nutrition (TPN).

Betsy has started this regimen and well be able to continue it at home when she is discharged later this week.

Though the deck seems to be stacked against her, Betsy continues to choose life. Please keep us all in your prayers.